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Stress 101 - If you are Stressed, you are not Alone
You can either change the situation that causes stress or change your reaction to the situation. When deciding which option to choose, apply the four As: accept, avoid, alter and adapt.
Between the bills in your post box and not having enough hours in the day to meet the demands of your job and your family, it's not surprising you feel stressed. With today's hectic lifestyle, you'd be forgiven for thinking you can't do anything about your stress levels. But you actually have more control than you think if you realise that managing stress starts with taking control.
Managing stress is an essential skill in modern lifestyles. The key is learning to identify where the problems lie and what you can do to solve them.
Facts
Organisations, governments and individuals are recognising the economic, financial and social impacts of stress. Stress is a known contributing factor in many health conditions, including: heart disease, hypertension, high blood pressure and immune system disorders. It is also linked to miscarriages, strokes, ulcers, diabetes, joint and muscular pains.
Stress also reduces workplace productivity. In the UK, stress is the cause of over 13 million work days lost annually, costing employers roughly £700m and society almost £7bn. Approximately 70% of doctors' visits are stress-related, and stress triggers 85% of serious illnesses.
Stress basics
Body and stress expert and endocrinologist, Hans Selye, said: "It's not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it". You can therefore manage your stress by taking charge of your thoughts, emotions, time, environment, and problems. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation and fun, withstanding pressure and meeting challenges head-on.
The causes of stress
If you can spot the symptoms, you can manage them. If you answer yes to any of these symptoms, you are probably stressed:
- Loss of appetite
- Sleeping difficulties
- Poor concentration or poor memory retention
- Performance dip
- Uncharacteristic errors or missed deadlines
- Anger, tantrums or emotional outbursts
- Violent or anti-social behaviour
- Alcohol or drug abuse
A recent survey found that 25% of our happiness hinges on how well we manage stress. So what's the best way to reduce stress?
Make a plan
Having a plan is the best stress management tool. You can avoid stress by planning your day, year and life, rather than passively letting stress events happen.
The next step is to identify your stress triggers and develop coping strategies. You don't have to do this alone: seek help and support from family and friends. A professional coach provides the support you need to implement your strategies successfully and to keep you on track.
Stress management strategies
You can either change the situation that causes stress or change your reaction to the situation. When deciding which option to choose, apply the four As: accept, avoid, alter and adapt.
The four As of stress management
1. ACCEPT the things you can't change
As the saying goes, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." Don't try to control the uncontrollable. Look for the upside, share your feelings and learn to forgive.
2. AVOID unnecessary stress
This could be by learning to say no or avoiding people that make you stressed. Take control of your environment by finding another route to avoid stressful traffic jams. When talking, avoid hot-button topics.
3. ALTER the situation
Find out what you can change so you can avoid the problem in the future. Be willing to compromise; be more assertive; manage your time better. In short, don't take a back seat in your own life.
4. ADAPT to the stressor
If you can't change the source of your stress, change yourself. Try to reframe the problem to get a better perspective. Will the issue matter in a month, or a year's time? Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress, so consider adjusting your standards. And finally, focus on the positive.
About you
Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury. Remember to look after yourself throughout life's hustle and bustle. Make time to relax and have fun. Laugh more. After all, laughter is by far the best medicine.
Adopting a healthy lifestyle also helps. Exercise regularly, get enough sleep, eat healthily and reduce alcohol, sugar, caffeine and drugs.
A happier life
Commit to change, before change is forced upon you.
You have a plan and an implementation strategy. Now it's about action. Be accountable to yourself and don't wait until stress has a negative impact on your health, relationships or quality of life.
"I have gained control over the stresses in my life. I have trained my way of thinking. I perceive my difficulties as challenges. I no longer am the stressed-out guy I was three months ago." GH, Life coaching client. asa
Stanford Payne CA(SA) is an Executive Business Life Coach.
Article Comments
Hey Joe,First and foremost, your suiirtpal and emotional health is the most important. I understand why you feel stressed out, I know your life is not easy (paying mortgage on a house, working 2-3 and sometimes 4 jobs, posting online, all while keeping a somewhat active social life, it's not easy, honestly I don't know how you do it, it take a lot of courage)I think it's a phase, eventually you'll be able to relax more and enjoy life without feeling stressed out. You're probably worried about paying your bills, but they'll be paid, but don't worry too much about bills, it's just bills, as long that you have work to do you're fine Jesus take care of us,Mike
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