To quote Michelle Obama: ‘When we share our stories, we are reminded of the humanity in each other. And when we take the time to understand each other’s stories, we become more forgiving and more empathetic.’ This quote encapsulates the essence of the Tamar Project, which creates safe spaces for the stories of gender-based violence (GBV) survivors.
In South Africa, the prevalence of GBV against women and girls represents one of the most severe forms of discrimination and dehumanisation.1 GBV is a human rights violation affecting at least one in three of our South African women, with an equally alarming number enduring severe victim shaming or harassment when they attempt to report these incidents to local authorities.2 GBV or violence against women and children (VAWC) includes emotional, financial, physical and sexual abuse, affecting persons of a particular gender disproportionately.3
I am one of the one in three South African women who have struggled with the stigma and silence surrounding GBV. As a university student, I survived a brutal attack and endured severe victim shaming. It took years of healing and trauma counselling to become the sanctuary I desperately needed at that time. This traumatic experience motivated me to establish the Tamar Project, which is dedicated to restoring dignity to GBV survivors.
The Tamar Project is a Signal for Help Responder, offering guidance on supporting those affected by GBV in South Africa. By understanding how to respond to the signs of abuse, we can change the stories of our South African women and girls. The Signal for Help is a discreet, one-handed gesture developed by the Canadian Women’s Foundation during the COVID-19 outbreak when President Cyril Ramaphosa described GBV as a ‘second pandemic’ in South Africa.
The Signal for Help hand gesture signals that someone needs a safe check-in and supportive assistance. To perform the Signal for Help, start by raising one hand with your palm fully open and facing outward. fingers extended straight up. Next, fold your thumb inward towards your palm while keeping the rest of your fingers straight. Finally, close your fingers over your thumb to form a fist, trapping your thumb inside. If someone shows you this hand signal on a video call, visit @the_tamar_project on Instagram to learn how to check in safely and find support resources in your community. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call your local emergency services by dialling 112 from any cell phone in South Africa.
The Signal for Help
Michelle Obama said, ‘There’s power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice.’ In November 2023, I was crowned Supreme Queen Global Earth Africa 1st Princess. This leadership platform enabled me to share my story with thousands of African women and girls and expanded the scope of the Tamar Project far beyond its initial reach.
This November, take a stand against GBV by supporting the Tamar Project’s #GoPurple initiative! Wear purple lipstick from 25 November to 10 December to raise awareness about VAWC during the global 16 Days of Activism campaign. Show your support and spark a global conversation about VAWC, as the colour purple represents standing in solidarity with GBV survivors.
Our initiatives have reached countless women and girls worldwide, and you can support them by emailing thetamarproject.za@gmail.com about keynote addresses, following @the_tamar_project on Instagram®, talking about GBV to break societal stigmas and visiting https://www.backabuddy.co.za/campaign/the-tamar-project to donate towards this project.
South Africans commemorate Women’s Month in August. This commemoration is a tribute to the thousands of women led by Albertina Sisulu who marched to the Union Buildings on 9 August 1956 in protest against the extension of Pass Laws to women. Megan Markle said, ‘Women don’t need to find a voice, they have a voice, and they need to feel empowered to use it, and people need to be encouraged to listen.’ As we remember the stories of lionesses like Albertina Sisulu this month, I raise my voice – not to shout, but to roar. I roar so that the voices of those affected by GBV in South Africa may be heard, their stories told, and their resilience celebrated.
I am a woman, a lioness – hear me roar.
Author
Michelle Coetzee CA(SA), MCom (cum laude), PhD student, Lecturer at Akademia
Notes
1 W Buqa (2022), Gender-based violence in South Africa: a narrative reflection, HTS Teologiese Studies/Theological Studies, 78(1):7754.
2 A Mpako and S Ndoma (2023), South Africans see gender-based violence as most important women’s-rights issue to address, Afrobarometer Dispatch 738, 24 November 2023, https://www.afrobarometer.org/publications/ad738-south-africans-see-gender-based-violence-as-a-top-priority.
3 European Commission (nd), What is gender-based violence?, https://commission.europa.eu/strategy-and-policy/policies/justice-and-fundamental-rights/gender-equality/gender-based-violence/what-gender-based-violence_en.
4 Canadian Women’s Foundation (nd), The Signal for Help, https://canadianwomen.org/signal-for-help/.
5 Government of South Africa (nd), Women’s month, https://www.gov.za/womens-month#:~:text=South%20Africa%20commemorates%20Women’s%20Month,celebrated%20annually%20as%20Women’s%20.