Stress is a natural response to help us survive, avoid an accident or deliver at our best. But we are meant to rest, regenerate and recover after a period of stress, emulating a natural wave in our energy patterns
‘It’s not stress that kills us, it’s our reaction to it.’ However, it’s not just our reaction to stress but also our relationship with stress that no longer serves us. We have to ask ourselves what the story is that we are telling ourselves about our stress. What is that payoff that we are using to justify it? And is it worth it?
We often wait until we have paid the price on our health, wellness and relationships. With 70% of our days spent in a state of stress, we have normalised the extent of stress in our lives. Many have glorified stress, wearing ‘busy’ as a proverbial badge of honour as it pervades every aspect of our lives. But as natural as our stress response is, so is rest. And we don’t have to earn rest. It’s essential to our resilience and we need to embrace it.
If you’re struggling with managing stress or the impacts of stress on your health, you are not alone. Many people I speak to say that they find it hard to talk about, as they are not ill. Rather they are just not well. We need to remove the stigma around struggling with stress and stop the glorification of being busy and always on. For me, finding flow should be a state of being rather than doing. I believe that a flow state should be a more holistic state of being and a way of living that is underpinned by being in tune with our nervous systems. It is a state more present and permanently obtainable or accessible in our lives. It is not just in how you work, build, lead teams or create, but also how you manage your energy and exist holistically and congruently in mind, body and spirit. A state of easefulness and grace, where you are balanced and grounded, in tune and intuitive, aligned and in touch whilst feeling like you have your own personal state of balance – whatever that balance means for you. Surely if you’re in harmony with your body, mind and nervous system, a flow state in work and creation would be easier to access and maintain. And by building awareness and being tuned in to yourself and the state of your nervous system, we would be able to flow back into the balance and maintain it through small steps taken regularly.
I believe that balance should be a flow in our lives. Everyone’s lives and priorities are different, so we need to step back from the notion that balance is a perfect balance between all areas of our lives at any one time. Create your own personal balance around your focus or intentions. And if you don’t get it right today, try again tomorrow. Ban the notion of perfectionism and create a life that supports you. What we say ‘no’ to is as important as what we say ‘yes’ to. Say ‘yes’ to yourself today. Say ’yes’ to a life that feels more like a gently unfurling and expansive hand, rather than a tightly closed fist.
7 Steps to Finding Flow: Flip the Script on Stress by Nicky Rowbotham is available in all good book stores, on Amazon and at www.nickyrowbotham.com/book/.
Author: Nicky Rowbotham CA(SA) is Founder of Inspired Change and Author
