Viewpoints: Love starts with you!

There will be plenty of ‘failures’

Be kind to yourself. As a speaker, I can be my biggest critic. At the beginning of my speaking career, I recall being upset with myself for forgetting my lines or making a mistake, belittling myself for days and labelling myself as being ‘stupid’. I have since learnt to accept that with each talk, there will be things that will go well and some things that won’t. I have learnt to maintain a journal. After every presentation, I write down my reflections of a particular talk: what I liked; what needs to be maintained; what did not work; and what needs to change.

This journal becomes my ongoing source of reference and inspiration. For every subsequent talk, I refer to this journal and pick two things to do something different. This could be a new technique to engage the audience, updated slide content, or just a new approach to deliver my content. I have learnt that as long as I keep my content fresh, updated and exciting – I am excited to deliver the talk as I look forward to trying out that ‘new something’.

I have learnt that there might be days when embarrassing stuff happens – technology fails, props fall, I suddenly hiccup. But instead of hiding the thing that happened by continuing to talk and assuming that my audience will forget what they just witnessed, I have learnt to laugh with them and acknowledge the fun and life’s moments in every situation.

This is not a race, it’s a journey

I have learnt to set speaking goals that are focused on experience gained versus outcomes. This allows me to set goals towards improving my speaking: depth, range and complexity of speaking engagements. Speaking is a journey, the skill that you are good at today becomes outdated with changes in technology, culture and audience preferences. I have learnt to constantly reassess my speaking style, delivery, content and my personal brand as a speaker. I have learnt that speaking is not a destination that you arrive at − it is an ongoing skill to learn.

Challenge and growth

I have learnt that I need to crave constant feedback to help me grow my skill as a speaker. I have also learnt that I am unable to please everyone, so I don’t try. At some point, even you need to decide on which feedback you are going to take seriously and what feedback which you will discard. I have learnt if the majority of feedback is saying the same thing – then it’s important to focus my attention on it.

I have also learnt to receive feedback at an appropriate time. After my talk, I first need time to reflect on my talk and self-assess before I receive feedback from other people. Receiving feedback too soon can have the unintended impact of denting my morale. I have learnt to reflect and ask myself good questions such as ‘What can I do to dramatically improve my engagement at my next talk?’ Mentors, coaches and like-minded speakers are a must to associate with.

Some hints

• Reward yourself for achieving speaking milestones.
• Speaking is a life-long skill and not a short-term goal to achieve.
• Remind yourself of the blessing to share your message and knowledge through speech.